9 April 2020 : Covid-19 No news!

So I don't want to watch any news today, I can't bare anymore sadness, any more bad news......I have a busy day of Teams meetings so am focused on work and not worrying about my health (I still feel quite sluggish and my breathing isn't easy). Is the anxiety kicking in again, I was doing so much better. Taking my Kalms and drinking lots of fluids, green tea, honey in hot water!

Feeling pretty good as I have the whole of next week off work, looking forward to getting in the garden, painting the fence, doing some weeding and literally going to keep myself fully occupied. As I finished work, hubby got back from the farm shop and came into the house wearing his outdoor shoes...omg, now I am going to have to wash the floors....at this point my daughter's boyfriend was coughing, no signs of handwashing. I joked with my husband, "was that a cough", he laughed and said yes, so I carried the joke into her room and said, "did you cough", oh f*ck off she said and slammed the door in my face. Where did that come from, haven't even seen her for the past few days, she may as well still be in isolation, they never come out of their room....I wasn't having her speak to me like that. So I lost it completely, told her to f*ck off, pack her bags and take her and her coughing to her boyfriend's parents. Of course, she asked if she could take my car, the audacity.....no you bloody well can't, get his parents to come get you. I calmed down quite quickly and told her they didn't have to leave. She said she wanted too, she was out of line, I am not apologising. I have told her they are welcome to stay and if she decides to go that is her choice. I will not be spoken to like that in my own home. I thought I was going to hit her with the mop! Like wet mop in the face. I wouldn't of course, I don't hit my kids but she was pushing all dem buttons.

My evening was ruined, I just want to go to bed. I am tired and achy, I am still short of breath, not painful just scary.......I will do my meditation and my breathing exercises, I will try to get some sleep and hopefully be refreshed tomorrow to cope with whatever she decides to do. If she stays, I will be anxious as they need to go to collect her boyfriends things as his lease expires in a few days and he needs to clear out the flat. If she goes, I will be devastated that she felt she had to leave her own home. Can't talk to mumma that way....